When you have one arm, people have a tendency to think you need help with everything. Once when I was in my late teens, I was washing and drying my hands in a public bathroom and the woman next to me asked if I needed help. I wanted to be like, "Oh, thank God you're here! I've been living for 17 years and haven't figured out how to wash my own hands!" But I know people just want to help, and they mean well.
I've always taken pride in being able to do things on my own. I nearly busted my back and shoulders when I lived alone in New York because I was determined to get my 48-lb IKEA furniture box up the four flights of stairs BY MYSELF. In case you're wondering, I did succeed. To be fair, I didn't know a soul and the delivery guys were long gone, but I needed to get it up to my apartment, so... it was on me.
Living solo in New York challenged me physically with one arm more than at any other time in my life. Now I know that whatever I'm faced with, it will never be as bad as that. Partly because, now that I live in Chicago where I know people and have a roommate, I can ask for help.
Asking for help used to feel like giving up. But once I've done something once or a couple times by myself, I've learned that that counts. I can do it all on my own. It's just that sometimes it's a great luxury to be able to get help. For instance, I can do a side braid with one arm, but it's loose and my layers tend to fall out over the course of the day. Asking my sister or a friend to just do it for me feels so great! The braid stays in and looks better!
My way of doing a side braid is still good. I'll still use it most of the time, and I think it's important that I have the ability to do it myself. But what took time to learn was that if asking for help can make your morning simpler, for example, why not just ask? Doing my own braid is tiring, and if I don't have to, why should I?
It doesn't make me any less capable. It's OK to ask for help.
xo,julieo
I've always taken pride in being able to do things on my own. I nearly busted my back and shoulders when I lived alone in New York because I was determined to get my 48-lb IKEA furniture box up the four flights of stairs BY MYSELF. In case you're wondering, I did succeed. To be fair, I didn't know a soul and the delivery guys were long gone, but I needed to get it up to my apartment, so... it was on me.
Living solo in New York challenged me physically with one arm more than at any other time in my life. Now I know that whatever I'm faced with, it will never be as bad as that. Partly because, now that I live in Chicago where I know people and have a roommate, I can ask for help.
Asking for help used to feel like giving up. But once I've done something once or a couple times by myself, I've learned that that counts. I can do it all on my own. It's just that sometimes it's a great luxury to be able to get help. For instance, I can do a side braid with one arm, but it's loose and my layers tend to fall out over the course of the day. Asking my sister or a friend to just do it for me feels so great! The braid stays in and looks better!
My way of doing a side braid is still good. I'll still use it most of the time, and I think it's important that I have the ability to do it myself. But what took time to learn was that if asking for help can make your morning simpler, for example, why not just ask? Doing my own braid is tiring, and if I don't have to, why should I?
It doesn't make me any less capable. It's OK to ask for help.
xo,julieo