"What did you just say? That's incredibly rude. I'm not having this conversation."
That's probably how I should have responded to the physician's assistant, but instead I just gave a pained smile and nodded silently. It's hard for me to be mean, even if someone deserves it.
I was at my usual doctor's office but seeing a different doctor for an emergency strep test. I've seen my chart and I know it says "congenital upper limb loss." Yet when the PA was taking my blood pressure, she initiated this conversation:
PA: So how did you lose your arm?
Me: Oh, uh, I was born like that, actually.
PA: Oh OK. So where do you work?
Me [thinking she's trying to make small talk about the rainy day]: The West Loop, so not too far. I just took an Uber.
[pause. She's just looking at me.]
Me: ...It's a marketing firm.
PA: Aw good, that's nice for you. An office job, so you can just send emails and file papers.
At this point I realize she thinks I'm some sort of invalid who is lucky to have found a job I can do. But I figure that has to be the end of it, plus I hate confrontation, so I just sort of nod, like "Sure why not." Then there was more.
PA: Do you drive?
Me: Nah.
[I should have seen this coming. Why am I still being nice to her?]
PA: Oh, because you have one arm?
[I kid you not.]
Me: Um no, just because it's annoying to have a car in the city. I can drive just fine.
Fortunately that's when the doctor came in, so the conversation ended. But I've never been more uncomfortable in a doctor's office, and that has to be saying something. Friends told me I needed to call and report it, but I wasn't sure how to go about that, and I mostly just wanted to forget about it. I finally mustered up the energy and the courage to call, though, and I'm glad I did. Of course the office tells me I am not the only patient with whom this PA has been inappropriate.
I'd better never run into her again, but, like everything, I guess I just chalk this up to life experience?
That's probably how I should have responded to the physician's assistant, but instead I just gave a pained smile and nodded silently. It's hard for me to be mean, even if someone deserves it.
I was at my usual doctor's office but seeing a different doctor for an emergency strep test. I've seen my chart and I know it says "congenital upper limb loss." Yet when the PA was taking my blood pressure, she initiated this conversation:
PA: So how did you lose your arm?
Me: Oh, uh, I was born like that, actually.
PA: Oh OK. So where do you work?
Me [thinking she's trying to make small talk about the rainy day]: The West Loop, so not too far. I just took an Uber.
[pause. She's just looking at me.]
Me: ...It's a marketing firm.
PA: Aw good, that's nice for you. An office job, so you can just send emails and file papers.
At this point I realize she thinks I'm some sort of invalid who is lucky to have found a job I can do. But I figure that has to be the end of it, plus I hate confrontation, so I just sort of nod, like "Sure why not." Then there was more.
PA: Do you drive?
Me: Nah.
[I should have seen this coming. Why am I still being nice to her?]
PA: Oh, because you have one arm?
[I kid you not.]
Me: Um no, just because it's annoying to have a car in the city. I can drive just fine.
Fortunately that's when the doctor came in, so the conversation ended. But I've never been more uncomfortable in a doctor's office, and that has to be saying something. Friends told me I needed to call and report it, but I wasn't sure how to go about that, and I mostly just wanted to forget about it. I finally mustered up the energy and the courage to call, though, and I'm glad I did. Of course the office tells me I am not the only patient with whom this PA has been inappropriate.
I'd better never run into her again, but, like everything, I guess I just chalk this up to life experience?